( app ) deerington

[undermoonlight]

IN CHARACTER

Character Name: Atsushi Nakajima
Canon: Bungo Stray Dogs
Canon Point: End of Season 2 - Episode 24

In-Game Tattoo Placement: Neck
Current Health/Status: Alive & Well
Age: 18
Species: Human (WereTiger)

Content Warnings: Child Abuse & Neglect, Self-Harm



History:

Wikipedia Page | Fan Wiki Page | Season 1 Episode List | Season 2 Episode List

CRAU History and Impact:

Personality:

Atsushi is a cheerful, well-meaning, and kind person. He sincerely cares for those around him, valuing even the lives of strangers above his own. Optimistic and hardworking, Atsushi is the type of person who never gives up until he's reached a 'good ending.' If there's a way to save everyone, Atsushi will find it. If there isn't, he'll struggle until he makes it.
Furthermore, he's a somewhat timid and overly polite person. Generally choosing to be conflict avoidant, Atsushi rarely says 'no' to anyone and usually sidesteps any issue that might lead to disagreements.
He is accepting to the point of naivety, where he is so trusting that he can be manipulated. But as a trusting person, Atsushi can see the best in those around him. He believes that humans should tell each other they're valuable, and he goes above and beyond to accomplish that.

Now, let's tear him apart.Mentions of child abuse & neglect are coming.

To understand Atsushi, you have to understand his childhood. He was raised in an orphanage, where he was subjected to mental and physical abuse. Atsushi only had one stable authority figure in his life, the orphanage director, and this person tortured him relentlessly. He was taught that bad people deserved to be punished and that he, a bad person, therefore did not deserve to live. Atsushi grew up in a broken system where he could not win, but could only conclude that his very existence was punishable.
To this day, Atsushi suffers from traumatic audio and visual flashbacks. The anime is blatant in depicting how Atsushi will freeze up and get stuck in horrible mental loops. The trauma of his childhood informs many of his decisions and it informs them in unhealthy ways.

All of this sets the foundation for Atsushi's core value, which is that everyone deserves to live. But that he isn't part of that everyone, and needs to earn his right to live. And to Atsushi, the way that he can earn that right to live is by saving the more valuable lives. We see this most blatantly on display in episode 8, when Atsushi decides to keep fighting to save some hostages on a train. His inner monologue bluntly says "If I can save these people, maybe my life will have meaning." He then goes on to spend the entire anime throwing himself in harm's way for the sake of others. Over and over.

And while this decision does come from a point of empathy and genuine kindness, Atsushi's desire to help others is also a selfish one. Coupled with his self-regeneration and lack of self worth, Atsushi will go through immeasurable amounts of pain for others. He has been stabbed numerous times, been brought to his knees in agony, healed, then gotten up to do it all over again-- All because Atsushi thinks that if he hurts for others then he is being good.

"Being good" is another core value for Atsushi. We see this in his daily life through his timid personality, in the way he avoids conflict, and how he is polite. But as a victim of violence himself, Atsushi's moral code is mostly hinged on his relationship with violence. Atsushi hates the idea of the strong (orphanage director) hurting the weak (young atsushi.) Then he discovers that he has an ability that is, in itself, entirely violent. Even the healing portion of his WereTiger ability only allows him to be violent for longer. Atsushi had to deal with being what he hated. To justify his own violence, Atsushi's moral code divides violence into "Good Violence" and "Bad Violence." Good violence protects others: It's what Atsushi does! It involves protecting the weak, sacrificing yourself for others, and only hurting "Bad Violence." That Bad violence is the opposite: It is hurting the weak, for your own gain, and killing others with that violence.

This black and white understanding of violence keeps Atsushi safe. It allows him to avoid confronting his inner demons, so long as he stays within the realm of "good violence." In the Dead Apple movie, we see Atsushi have to confront himself straying into "bad violence." He learns that he killed a man with his power, breaking his own code and becoming "bad." In his frantic confusion, Atsushi screams that he was only defending himself. He expands his definition of "good violence" in order to protect himself, but we see him have a breakdown before choosing this compromise.

Similarly, his entire relationship with Akutagawa (a key point of the series,) challenges his black and white view. At first, Akutagawa is blatantly the definition of bad violence. Atsushi sees him hurt, maim, and murder for his own benefit, without any remorse. Atsushi fixates on his hatred for Akutagawa, who is the red to Atsushi's blue. But as the series progresses, Akutagawa's backstory and psychology begin to challenge his black and white view. Atsushi begins to see that Akutagawa is like him. And while Akutagawa begins trying to understand him, Atsushi refuses to understand Akutagawa. He is always yelling "I don't understand you!" but Atsushi never tries to remedy that. Because to understand Akutagawa would challenge his moral code, and Atsushi isn't mentally or emotionally prepared to adjust it yet.

Atsushi desperately fears the reality of himself: That he is a complicated person. That he isn't all good, that there is some bad, and that he can't just hero it all away. As Akutagawa says, Atsushi can't "bleed for some people" and expect everything to be fine. Going back to how Atsushi tries to be good, Atsushi tries to achieve this by repressing his 'negative' emotions. He is never shown to violently lash out against his abusers and is even told he has no right to cry. Atsushi bottled these emotions up and never learned how to deal with them.

But the tiger, which may or may not be symbolic of his repressed emotions, did deal with them. Atsushi was transforming under the moonlight and wrecking havoc on the orphanage. When he's in a tiger form fight, Atsushi can quickly stray from his "Good Violence" to a violent rage. This is best seen when he fights Akutagawa over Kyoka. There are many times when Atsushi could have grabbed Kyoka and fled. Yet he stays (and kind of endangers her?) so that he can beat up Akutagawa. Because Atsushi is violent. Violence defines his life. And as much as he fears that, he also cannot hide from it.

Again, Dead Apple gives us an illustration of how badly Atsushi fears his violence. When Atsushi learns that he killed a man, someone who had been torturing him near to death, what he fixates on is "I used my claws." Not "I killed him," but "I used my claws." Because what horrified Atsushi the most about that moment was how he turned his power against someone. Doesn't matter that it was self-defense.

However, Atsushi doesn't have to be defined by the violence hat he fears. He is a sincerely kind person, who protects others because he cares. He has been on the other side of suffering and had no one to protect him. He believes that he should become the person his childhood self prayed for. Atsushi does not waste his new life, instead choosing to indulge in his happiness. We often see him expressing his positive emotions without shame or restraint: Big smiles, goofy and cartoon-isc expressions, and lively banter, such as when he goes on a mission with Kenji and keeps up with his senior's optimistic energy. Even in less positive situations, such as Dazai's annoying antics, Atsushi only sighs and then plays along. He can get annoyed, but he rarely rejects Dazai's strange method of giving Atsushi a normal life. Atsushi says that he enjoys living and that it is the most important thing. While he harbors a lot of self-hate he also expresses a love for life.

Atsushi has been beaten down more than most agency members, yet he holds more optimism than most of them, too. It is Atsushi who decides to save Kyoka, even when everyone around him says "You can't save everyone. The world isn't like that." Atsushi makes the world like that. It is Atsushi who suggests the Agency and the Port Mafia work together, even though he suffered more pain at their hands than any other Agency member. Atsushi is an optimist by choice. In his new positive environment, Atsushi has been able to reclaim his life and make it one where everyone can be saved. Even himself.

Of course, now I'm asking to throw him into Deerington so. Oops.

Abilities/Powers/Weaknesses & Warping:

- Were-Tiger( Beast Beneath the Moonlight ) Atsushi's key ability is the ability to turn into a white tiger. The Tiger seems to be a separate entity inside Atsushi's soul, as he often talks to it and about it like it is a separate being.

His ability comes down to superstrength and agility. Atsushi's Were-Tiger transformation has three stages: Changing his arms/legs only, a ?furry? transformation, and straight-up becoming a giant ass tiger. With each stage, Atsushi has more and more physical strength. He also has heightened senses of sight, hearing, and smell.

An additional note worth mentioning is that Atsushi doesn't seem to have total control over his ability. Prior to joining the agency, Atsushi was so out of control that he was often chained up in a basement. He would transform into full tiger form under the moonlight and wreck havoc. When a full tiger, he has no memory of his transformation.
Atsushi is only able to control his ability due to another agency member. I'd like to assume he will maintain enough control in Deerington that he isn't a TOTAL berserk monster. In the BEAST AU (which is canon,) Atsushi does not join the agency and does not benefit from the control ability. He is given restraints to force him to control his ability, but they cause him pain. If the mod team would like to further hamper his ability, I would like to request the restraints from BEAST.

WARPING: I do not know if he requires warping for a strength ability.

If he does, my ideal warping compromise would be this: I'd like for Atsushi to lose control of his ability during the full moon. He would turn into his full tiger form and wreck havoc. I think that Atsushi having control over his ability is generally important: It forces him to be conscious of when he is violent, which is a central conflict in his character. But by losing control during the full moon, Atsushi would also have to face his repressed anger issues. It brings up his childhood trauma of being chained up.

However, if he doesn't require it then I'd rather not make things any more complicated than necessary.

- Self Regeneration One of Atsushi's key abilities is that he can heal his injuries almost instantly. Combined with his disregard for his own well-being, this means that Atsushi can keep fighting when a normal person would give up. His healing ability applies to everything from scratches, to stabs in the chest, to losing his leg. While he still feels pain and eventually gets exhausted, Atsushi will push recklessly until he collapses.

There does seem to be a connection between how rapidly Atsushi heals and 'how active' the Tiger is. When Atsushi gets stabbed during a date with Kyoka, he passes out. But when he faces the same injury, but with as a WereTiger, he is able to stand up. Similarly, when Atsushi lost his leg he was taken over by the Tiger in order to heal it.

Atsushi's ability to self-heal is a very important component of his character, as it highlights how he disregards his own well-being for the sake of others. The fact that he will take so much damage without quitting may be a shounen protagonist staple, but in Atsushi's case it is also a result of his psychological damage.

WARPING: Because self-healing is so vital to Atsushi's psychology, I would like to opt for the "Damages people within a 10 foot radius" option. This will give me a chance to explore Atsushi's mindset of "If I give up myself safety for others, I'm a good person," as taking inhuman amounts of damage will no longer be helping protect others. It will force him to reevaluate how he fights and his relationship with his own health.

Atsushi cannot control his self-healing directly, except by controlling how much he has transformed. This will obviously require a permissions post and a warning for anyone threading with him. Atsushi is fast, so I will use that to give him the ten foot radius only when the other mun does not want their muse taking Atsushi's damage.

So that he cannot entirely cheat the warping, I would like to add an additional clause: If no one is within 10 feet to take his damage, Atsushi can self-heal. However, he cannot restore his blood loss and will have scars for 24 hours. This means that Atsushi will now have a cap on how long he can fight before collapse. He will also be forced to acknowledge and face just how badly he gets hurt. I hope that by having to confront the long term effects of his healing, he will be forced to face how much he hurts those around him. He can no longer sweep it under the rug.

Otherwise, I'd like to play with this gimmick to torment Atsushi help him grow. As I've stated, self-healing and how he abuses it is a core part of his character. As much as possible, I'd like to keep it in some form.

Inventory: (1) His Wallet (empty)

Writing Samples: Sample 1 | Sample 2

OUT OF CHARACTER

Player Name: Berri
Player Age: 29
Player Contact: taiyakinonaku

Other Characters In Game: n/a
In-Game Tag If Accepted: Atsushi Nakajima: Berri
Permissions for Character: Thank you so much!
Are you comfortable with prominent elements of fourth-walling?: Yes! Atsushi is based on a Real Life Author by the same name, if you'd like to include him.
What themes of horror/psychological thrillers do you enjoy the most?: I want to push Atsushi to face his inner demons. I like themes of "the horror is within."
Is there anything in particular you absolutely need specific content warnings for?: Nope! Thanks for asking!
Additional Information: I hope you're doing well. Thank you for taking the time to read my app!